What’s It Gonna Take To Stop The Abuse???

What’s it gonna take to stop the abuse? Not just in this country, but in the world? There is so much hate and despair in the world around us. How do we stop the madness? Can we? While I believe we can stop a lot of it, we will never be able to stop all of it, but I believe it’s worth a try.

I started this blog, Niecey456, 2 years ago in the hopes of having my say, in hopes of making a difference in the world around me. At first Caylee Anthony‘s case inspired me, and over time many other children inspired me. Politics inspired me. Hope inspired me. Love inspired me. My friends inspired me. My children and family inspired me. My Faith inspired me. My gardens have even inspired me. The biggest inspiration of all is God, and the Love he has placed in my heart, along with a hatred for evil, the one thing we are supposed to hate, in fact it’s the only thing we are supposed to hate. I do not hate people, but when evil drives them and they harm the innocent, I hate the evil that drives them. I believe in honesty. My God is the God of Truth. I will stand up against deceit. It’s a pet peeve of mine. If I make a mistake, I will correct it, and if I’m wrong I will say so. I’m not perfect, so I do make mistakes. I will never claim to be perfect. I will, however, strive to do my best, but this post is not really about me.

This post is about all of the topics I’ve posted about, and then some. It’s about the world I see around me, good and bad. Every person in this world struggles with good and evil. There is not one person that is exempt. We all have a bad side, but for most of us our bad side is being grumpy in the morning, or in the evening, being picky about the order around us, stressing too much, being overly opinionated, extremely pessimistic, difficulty sharing their feelings with those they love, in other words things that are relatively minor. Most folks have a good nature. Most folks love and value life. Most folks put the lives of their children and families in front of their own. In fact most folks put the lives of others in front of their own. Most folks enjoy their families and their lives, even though they have problems or times when things are difficult. Unfortunately though, there is a growing number of people that cannot seem to live, love and laugh. Folks that do not enjoy their families. In fact folks that have trouble loving anyone but themselves. We have more mental disorders on the books now, than we ever have before. If someone says they have depression, one is left wondering which type? There was a time when depression was depression.  There  are all kinds of labels. Sociopaths, Narcissists, Psychotics, the list goes on. I am not saying none of these things are real, but more wondering why there is so much of it? What has gone so tragically wrong in our world that there are so many people with so many afflictions that affect their ability to love others, and especially their own children. Why are there so many people that have so little regard for others? Is it in the water, the air, the food, the medications, or have we simply lost our moral compass?

People with mental illness still know right from wrong. Even people raised in the worst of homes know right from wrong. So mental illness is really no excuse for abusive behavior. Some of the labels are not declared mental illness, but instead they are labeled personality disorders, which to me is an understatement. Not everyone that is mentally ill or has a personality disorder is a killer, and they are not always abusers either. There is a great deal of debate about whether or not abusive behavior is created. I personally think much of it is.

Think about it……..We all started out completely innocent, and then we learned how to get what we wanted. That’s the first thing a child learns, how to get what they want, or need. Not that I’m saying that’s wrong, but what a child learns in the first few years of life is very important as to who they will turn out to be. Some children are harder to teach than others. Everyone is different, but if a child is taught to share and think of others, chances are they will be loving and caring individuals. If a child doesn’t get much attention, chances are they will always be the type to do whatever it takes to get attention, good or bad. If a child feels unloved, chances are they will spend their whole lives trying to find it and have a hard time giving it. If a child has no hope, dreams, imagination, or even faith, they will likely be empty adults, that cannot achieve a thing. There are always exceptions. Some children of abuse struggle to be better than their abusive parents were, and turn out to be wonderful people, but they did struggle a lifelong struggle to not be like their parents, or to be better than their parents. In my honest opinion it is harder for the victims of abuse, if they survive to overcome it, than abusive situations are to be avoided.

While we need good mental health professionals and good spiritual leaders, and proper education, none of that will do any good, if by and large we don’t get back to good sound moral values………Back to valuing life, and remembering that our loved ones are a gift from God, not objects or possessions to be taken for granted and used as a scapegoat for our own self hatred. We have to change our attitudes.  Attitude makes a big difference. It’s also a choice. Happiness is a choice. Love and compassion and optimism are choices. Hatred and anger and bitterness are all choices.

Forgiveness is a choice and you have to work at it. But forgiveness does not mean to tolerate or enable bad behavior. I think we have more people tolerating and enabling bad behavior these days, than the amount of people that actually abuse others. Remember……When you enable or facilitate a person to be abusive, there comes a point when you are as guilty as they are of the abuse. From terrorism to child abuse, if you enable it and facilitate it, that is not forgiveness, that is giving it the power to happen. To forgive means to not hold a grudge, but it does not mean you have to endure or allow others to endure abuse. It simply means that the person that made the choice to not hold a grudge has freed themselves from the poison of unforgiveness. Abusers should be walked away from. They cannot be fixed by the will of others, only their own desire to get help and make changes, and that cannot be forced. They should be held accountable for their actions. They have to reach out for the help, to those that are qualified to help them work through it. To be truly loved in your life, means you have to be capable of giving love.  A person that cannot give love, cannot receive love. So if you love an abusive person, you have to understand that your love will not change them. Chances are they are not receiving your love. A child has no choice, so it is the responsibility of the other parent or family members to free the child from the abuse. If you enable it, you are as guilty as the abuser. You have to intervene, even if it’s a hard thing for you to do, you must fight to free the child. They do not deserve to be abused.

I wrote this in the hopes that it will get us all to stop and think and realize we have some changing to do as a society. We have to take a stand against evil. We have to protect the innocent. We have to raise our children right, with love and discipline, and good values. It is so important that we understand we can change much of this, but it all starts right where we are. It starts at home and then it should follow suit with the way we vote and the way we deal with the evil amongst us. We have to stand against it. Enabling needs to become a thing of the past. It’s as bad as the evil it serves. We have to get our attitudes right. We have to get our hearts right and we have to realize what’s most important. If you love an abuser, tough love is the greatest gift you can give them. If they do not receive it, chances are they will not change. Tough love means you will not support the abuse, enable it or tolerate it. Abuse should not be tolerated. Accountability is very important. Our society needs to get back to demanding accountability.

Think about it and let me know what you think. God Bless You.